Chicago Daily Observer

To: J. Q. Public, Esq.
From: Executive Search Committee
Re: Chief Executive Officer position
Date: October 30, 2008

Need your immediate input on filling this position. Current executive officeholder due to retire shortly after the start of the new calendar year. Consider this job applicant carefully. Human resources department committee is completely divided on this employment application. Must reach a decision by Tuesday. Consider this report to be confidential. An HR investigator’s comments have been added to the original employment application.

(Post it note attachment):

What is our potential litigation exposure if the applicant is denied the position from an Equal Employment Opportunity Commission standpoint? Applicant has made (veiled) suggestions that he is fully prepared to initiate a formal complaint and make allegations claiming that applicant was subjected to race based discrimination if denied the position that the job applicant is currently seeking. Need to reach a ... Read More...

Sen. Obama is really on to something with his windfall profits tax on big oil. The package before the Senate would have imposed a 25% tax on unreasonable profits on the five largest oil companies, giving government the leeway to address oil market speculation, and best of all made energy price gouging a federal crime. It failed, though 51 Senators thought it high time to penalize the politically unpopular oil producers.

I think I have just the package to guide this legislation through Congress. The price of crude oil has dropped over 50%. The wholesale price of gasoline has also dropped over 50%. Oil production and equipment companies are in a dire situation with Exxon Mobile at a yearly low, and Halliburton and Tesoro at 3 year lows. Now is the time for a windfall profits tax on Big Oil to Bailout Big Oil.

Big Oil is in a fix. ... Read More...

10) Community organizing takes up a lot of time.

9) Jeremiah Wright vouched for him.

8) I’ve always been a supporter of Don’t Ask Don’t tell.

7) There was nothing about it in the Indonesian Press at the time.

6) It wasn’t on the teleprompter.

5) I thought Republicans would like him because he’s bitter and into guns.

4) I was busy that day picking up my $105,849 check from Fannie Mae with my good buddies Doodad Pro and Good Will.

3) I thought terrorists all had names that sounded like…well…mine.

2) How was I supposed to know? After all, he looked like all the other guys on the dollar bill.

1) I really did know and I’m LYING.

Because Barack Obama has spent most of his adult life in Chicago politics, one can surmise a President Obama will reach back home for trusted advisors and longtime associates to form an Obama cabinet.

The top cabinet positions traditionally include the secretaries of state, defense, and treasury as well as attorney general. Recently, the secretary of homeland security has risen to the cabinet’s top level, along with the vice president and chief of staff.

So, who would be at Obama’s table of influence?

Jim Thompson, Oprah Winfrey, Wesley Clark, Bill Ayers, and Tony Rezko among others

And it came to pass, in the eighth year of the reign of the evil Bush the Younger (The Ignorant), when the whole land from the Arabian desert to the shores of the Great Lakes had been laid barren, that a Child appeared in the wilderness.

The Child was blessed in looks and intellect. Scion of a simple family, offspring of a miraculous union, grandson of a typical white person and an African peasant. And yea, as he grew, the Child walked in the path of righteousness, with only the occasional detour into the odd weed and a little blow.

When he was twelve years old, they found him in the temple in the City of Chicago, arguing the finer points of community organisation with the Prophet Jeremiah and the Elders. And the Elders were astonished at what they heard and said among themselves: “Verily, who is this Child that ... Read More...

“When the stock market crashed, Franklin Roosevelt got on the television and didn’t just talk about the princes of greed,” Biden told Couric. “He said, ‘Look, here’s what happened.’”

As Reason’s Jesse Walker footnotes it: “And if you owned an experimental TV set in 1929, you would have seen him. And you would have said to yourself, ‘Who is that guy? What happened to President Hoover?’”

On July 2, 2008, spot Oil Prices topped out at $144/Barrel, sparking doomsayers everywhere to gnash teeth and quit boating so much. Today, September 11, 2008, Oil Prices have crashed to $102/Barrel, a 29% drop, crushing speculators, refiners and the oil services sector at the bottom of the pile.

Exxon Mobile stock is at at 52 week low with a price drop around 25%. Halliburton is also getting slammed, down 36% for the year. Leading refiners, such as Tesoro are hit hardest, down nearly 75% from yearly highs. Pension funds, employee-owners, individual investors, and even the occasional oil company executive have seen their savings washed away, in some kind of windfall to the average consumer.

Isn’t it time that the most powerful economy on earth was able to support the oil companies? Don’t our leaders in Washington care about the retirees who are harmed when their ... Read More...

By reporters everywhere

An ineffectual international organisation yesterday issued a stark
warning about a situation it has absolutely no power to change, the
latest in a series of self-serving interventions by toothless
intergovernmental bodies.

“We are seriously concerned about this most serious outbreak of
seriousness,” said the head of the institution, either a former minister from a developing country or a mid-level European or American bureaucrat. “This is a wake-up
call to the world. They must take on board the vital message that my
organisation exists.”

• Sub Currus Vobis – Under The Bus With You

• Genus Tabellae Victoria – Race Card Triumphant

• Purus Articulatus Arrogantis Potius- Clean, articulate, arrogant, elitist.

HT: Bill Baar