10,0000 B. C.: In Running for Worst Film Ever
Damn! Prehistoric people had better dental plans than we do!
— Viewer’s comment on 10,000 B.C.
10,000 B.C.! Savage, nomadic hunters packing hefty bludgeons, beating each other senseless, and hauling choleric females around by their hair; eight-year-old boys itching to exit their caves and kill a few wild animals for lunch: these are the kinds of things I’d expected to remember about director Roland Emmerich’s Stone Age spectacle. I wanted to leave the theater happy—and grateful—to be living in an age of frozen entrées, instant coffee, and daytime television.
Tough luck, Roquemore. After the movie I drove home thoroughly disappointed, reeling from a relentless barrage of sheer malarkey, and asking myself—again and again—a single question: how on earth could a film humming with perilous hunting expeditions, tough as nails cavemen, and snarling saber toothed tigers be dead on arrival, unintentionally funny, and tedious? In spots, 10,000 B.C. makes ... Read More...
