If Idaho can boast of its world class potatoes, can Illinois pride itself

upon its crooked politicians and axle breaking potholes? Sadly, the upcoming

inaugural festivities will not dampen the impact of gross mismanagement and

higher taxes in Illinois.

I have been out of the loop recently. I mean this both figuratively and

literally. I was traveling throughout “the red states” during the past week. It

was a refreshing experience that I may write about in greater detail later.

While some readers may be saddened to learn that I have returned or, to

paraphrase Mark Twain, reports of my death or exile have been greatly exaggerated,

I cannot deny that I share their disappointment to a degree. It is

disheartening for me to report to you that Mississippi currently has better paved

highways, better regulated casinos and a better class of politicians than does

Illinois!

Despite the colder weather, it did not take me long to become acclimated and

even less time to become reacquainted with the stupidity and venality of our

elected officials. It was readily apparent almost as soon as I crossed the

Mississippi river at Cairo. Promptly upon my return to “The Sucker State” (to

use a dated term that contrasted Illinois with Missouri, its “Show Me State”

neighbor), I learned that the governor had chosen Roland Burris to fill the

US Senate vacancy during my absence. The secretary of state cried foul and

declined to transmit the appointment to the US Senate. Mister Burris has

threatened to file a lawsuit compelling the recalcitrant secretary to comply with

the gubernatorial order.

Will the landmark US Supreme Court decision of Marbury versus Madison be

superseded in textbooks and legal treatises by the Illinois Supreme Court

decision of Burris versus White? If Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid denies Burris

admission to the Senate chamber how long will it be until legal briefs are

filed which cite another US Supreme Court decision such as Powell versus

McCormack? The latter case dealt with the failed efforts of the Speaker of the

House, John McCormack of Massachusetts, to exclude to New York Representative

Adam Clayton Powell, Jr., from Congress due to his chronic absenteeism. In the

latter stages of his career, the flamboyant and outrageous Powell spent more

time on his Florida yacht than on Capitol Hill, but the voting residents of

Harlem kept returning him to office every two years through the force of

habit. The high court ordered that Powell must be seated regardless if he answered

roll calls or attended sessions on a regular basis or not.

As for the present situation in Illinois, all that I can state is that this

is nothing more than damned foolishness. Governor Rod Blagojevich may be

corrupt, incompetent and unpopular, but, as of today’s date, he is still the

chief executive of the state. His recent arrest means little until he is

convicted in federal court and the burden of proof rests with the prosecution. Absent

any contrary evidence, his decision to appoint Burris appears to be wholly

lawful notwithstanding the pending charges against him related to his

willingness to solicit bribes in return for selecting a designated individual to fill

the vacant US Senate seat formerly occupied by President-elect Barack Obama.

Blagojevich may not remain in office much longer, but he certainly must be

relishing the disharmony and discord that his selection of Burris has caused

for his critics and detractors.

The refusal of Secretary of State Jesse White to perform the ministerial

task of certifying the decision of Blagojevich to appoint former Illinois

Attorney General and Comptroller Roland Burris pales in comparison with the

inaction of President Thomas Jefferson’s secretary of state (and immediate

presidential successor), James Madison, to deliver commissions to the last few

Federalist magistrates appointed by the outgoing president, John Adams, but as

political theater it is almost equally absurd. As pleasing as White’s refusal may

be to Democratic party regulars, his role in this drama is that of a

functionary. He has no independent authority or discretion to withhold his signature

from the certificate appointing Burris to the US Senate vacancy.

The Secretary of State’s office was once entrusted with the legal

responsibility for conducting and supervising all state elections much in the same way

that the county clerks administer most county and local elections (with the

exception of those elections occurring in larger cities with separately

appointed boards of election commissioners). Former Secretary of State Paul Powell,

who is best remembered for the discovery of a collection of bribes and petty

cash in bills of various denominations that were found stuffed in shoe boxes

in his Springfield hotel suite after his demise, was so notorious for

displaying blatant favoritism to his Democrat friends in the General Assembly that

it was deemed prudent to establish a distinct and separate state board of

elections to superintend future electoral proceedings in Illinois.

The current controversy as to the Burris appointment relates to the fact

that the legislature neglected, however, to thoroughly revise all of the

statutes when creating the state board of elections and, in the present instance,

the secretary of state rather than the state board is responsible for signing

and transmitting the certificate relating to the Burris appointment to

Washington. From this minor residual amount of power vested in Secretary of State

White has grown the present controversy. Like most of the preening and

posturing politicians, White must reap some publicity from the current political

drama.

Both Burris and White are a pair of likeable and nondescript mediocrities

who have enjoyed far greater political longevity than their modest talents

might have recommended. White, who was actually dropped as a minor league

prospect by the Chicago Cubs (talk about a humiliating rejection!) briefly became a

school teacher before he attached himself to the Democratic Party

Committeeman of the 42nd Ward, the late George W. Dunne.

Recognizing White’s full potential as loyal follower, Dunne placed him in

the state legislature as the representative for the district which combined both

the Cabrini Green public housing projects and the Sandburg Village high

rises. From this humble beginning, White advanced to the offices of Cook County

Recorder of Deeds and Secretary of State. It was rumored that George H. Ryan

traded indirect support for White’s election as his own replacement as

Secretary of State by undercutting the Republican candidate, former State

Representative Al Salvi, in return for the Democrats soft peddling their own

gubernatorial candidate, Congressman Glenn Poshard, who opposed Ryan. Both Ryan and

White were victorious in the 1998 general election. Rod Blagojevich’s folly and

possible crime was that he was recorded demanding money in return for making

a political appointment rather than simply trading favors without being

overheard discussing financial considerations. Nobody blinked about the wheeling

and dealing that accompanied White’s election.

Beyond holding several elective offices and constantly seeking to advance

his own political career, it is difficult to identify a specific accomplishment

or achievement made by Roland Burris that made a meaningful difference to the

people of the State of Illinois. Burris, an otherwise humble and modest man,

whose singular accomplishments as a parent compare most favorably with the

former heavyweight champion prizefighter George Foreman: both men saw fit to

name most, if not all, of their offspring after themselves. Burris may have

taken the cake in that he has named children of both sexes after himself

(Roland and Rolanda). Foreman has thus far contented himself by naming all of his

sons “George” and appending roman numerals afterwards to order the boys

sequentially so that he can tell them apart.

Since I appreciate irony it is somewhat amusing to find some of the same

people belittling and laughing at the vainglorious Burris for exaggerating his

accomplishments (his magnificent and prepaid cemetery monument identifies

Burris as a political “trailblazer”) and self proclaimed greatness do not apply

the same standards to the former state senator from the 13th legislative

district. Unlike Barack Obama, Burris did not sign a contract to publish an

autobiography immediately upon graduating from law school. He also did not see fit

to write a second autobiographical work before the age of fifty. The key

difference between both men seems to be that Burris lost a primary election or

two on occasion while Obama managed to run the pool table or catch lightening

in a bottle depending upon your point of view or preferred metaphor.

My fellow Americans, brace yourself for additional doses of Illinois

politics. With a carpet bagging transient by the name of Barack Obama, who

established a legal voting residence in Chicago briefly while changing planes, trains

and automobiles that made prior stops in Hawaii, Massachusetts, New York and

California as well as such exotic ports of call as Malaysia and Kenya, about

to assume the presidency, such nonsense may soon become routine. Since Obama

successfully campaigned during the primaries largely on the basis of ending

the unpopular Iraq war without preconditions, what does he do now since even

the Washington Post has admitted the fact that the war has ended and the USA

appears to have won? Will he refuse to certify the result?

**

Daniel J. Kelley is a regular contributor to “The Chicago Daily Observer.”