A few weeks ago, friends of the late Mike Royko gathered at Wrigley Field to observe the ten year anniversary of his death. Royko was a lifelong fan of the Cubs, a team that he often lampooned and ridiculed. After seeing the Cubs manage to make a final World Series appearance during his adolescence, Royko watched the team as it bottomed out completely. Royko bemoaned the clumsy players that masqueraded as professional athletes on the Chicago roster, frequently venting his anger and disgust in print. He took solace by playing sixteen inch softball and was inducted into the Chicago Softball Hall of Fame. It was altogether fitting and proper that his family and friends assembled at the Friendly Confines to toast his memory.

Thinking of Royko, put me in mind of his final years writing columns for the Tribune. It was not an entirely happy employer/employee relationship. Royko had taken refuge at the Tribune after Rupert Murdoch had acquired The Chicago Sun-Times. Royko refused to work for the publisher that he derisively referred to as “the alien.” This insult stemmed from the fact that Murdoch had not yet obtained American citizenship. Moving to the Tribune was the second such dislocation in Royko’s career: he had to shift his column to the Sun-Times when publisher Marshall Field IV folded the Daily News.

In his waning years, Royko was once asked to survey the field of Chicago newspaper writers and to identify his likely successor as the dean of local columnists. Amazingly enough, or so it seems in retrospect, Royko pointed to Richard Roeper as a comer with potential. Royko felt “the kid” had the necessary talent.

Richard Roeper? Seriously?

While Royko did not have a crystal ball to consult, it seems clear that John Kass is probably the leading columnist in Chicago today. Kass is an old school professional. He is literally a throwback to an early age of commentary that many Chicagoans can relate to. One can hardly fault Royko, however, for predicting Roeper might be his heir apparent. Over the course of the intervening decade, something happened to Roeper’s career arc as a columnist. He elected to go Hollywood and become the protégé of Roger Ebert.
This in turn exacted a toll on his newspaper column.

Unlike Kass, Roeper seldom if ever tackles political subjects in print unless it is something as safe as bashing the president. Roeper cannot be found at mayoral press conferences or scrutinizing the actions of the Illinois General Assembly. Politics is so boring. Roeper occupies his time making pointed observations on the pop culture and chronicling the activities of Brittany Spears and Lindsay Lohan. Somehow, I doubt that researchers will be reading his vapid columns on microfilm in years to come.

Roeper has continually sought out opportunities to moonlight from his day job. For a time, he was a radio host and he has spent the past several years as a movie reviewer on television. He has cultivated the image of the coolest cat in the room. He seems to own the title of the resident metrosexual on the staff of the Sun-Times. Just ask his admiring colleague, Neil Steinberg, for confirmation.

Roeper seems so taken with the pop culture that his recent columns read like a series of Jerry Seinfeld comedy monologues put into print. Roeper seems incapable of producing a complete column on any single subject. His random observations jump from one topic to another as easily as a bored television viewer hitting the buttons on a remote control. While I would hesitate to question his talents as a writer, looking at his journalistic career as a whole, the results thus far lead one to ask “Is that all there is?”

While the late Royko and John Kass would sometimes focus their energies on exposing corruption and waste at City Hall, Roeper is more comfortable reporting on starlets in designer gowns walking down the red carpet in advance of the Academy Awards. What a waste!
**
Daniel J. Kelley is a curmudgeon and a contributor to The Chicago Daily Observer