There I was attending the “naturallyheatlhykids.com” expo at Navy Pier held last weekend.

I’m all for healthy kids. I have four young ones, and I’d like to keep them healthy.

It’s the “naturally” part that gets me a little curious. “Natural” as in “nature.” Hmm. Isn’t “nature” what mankind has been fighting against for eons? I mean, when you think about it “nature”. . . kills people. In fact, the entire march of civilization has pretty much been one of, well, overcoming nature. Maybe that’s why people live on average about 40 years longer now than they did at the turn of the 20th century. Not only that, but even with all the “chemicals” in our culture we are healthier than ever before, and rates of virtually every kind of adult and childhood cancer are falling. Not just the rates of death but the rates of cancer occurrence itself, including pediatric cancers, are on the decline. (The exceptions are only those related to obesity).

So, just what is the attachment to “natural,” especially, it seems, when it comes to kids? I was curious, so I made the trip up and down the aisles of folks selling and hawking their wares.

One of the first booths I visited was all about organic clothes for kids. I was told they were healthier and less allergenic. I happened to mention that I’d not heard of anyone having an allergy to synthetic clothes, but I knew lots of folks with allergies to (natural) wool or cotton. The gal at the booth didn’t know what to tell me about that one, so I moved on.

Then there was the advertising for an upcoming Babywearing Conference. The folks womanning the booth mentioned a “babywearing conference awards” show. I’m not sure why one would win an award for carrying around a two-year-old for most of the day. I mean, it may hurt your back, but all in all it’s “easy” to get your little one to go along with it. I tend to think a mom should get an award for teaching her little one that he can sooth and entertain himself (which means she can actually go to the bathroom by herself.) Then she’s really giving her child – and herself – something to get excited about.

Another booth encouraged me to “mindfully” parent. “Mindful parenting is about learning to experience family life fully as it unfolds – moment by moment.” As a single mom raising 4 kids on my own, trust me, sometimes I stay sane precisely I don’t pay attention to my family life as it unfolds moment by moment.

In fact, I rather think the reason we have so many out of control self-absorbed budding little egomaniacs in our culture is, well, precisely because someone was/is paying constant attention to them, moment by moment, instead of saying things like “go outside and play and don’t come in unless you’re bleeding – heavily!” (One of my own mother’s favorite lines.)

Moving right along, there was the Inner Alchemy, the Art of Self-Healing. “All healing is self-healing.” The literature said. “What you do for one, you do for all. Contribute to the whole by answering the call for a new creation.”

Can’t I just take a Tylenol? After all – it’s my headache.

“Explore, Build and Expand Your Connection with Animals” was another booth. It was all about natural animal spirit health and education. Now, if these folks can “connect” with my dog and let him know that if he poops one more time on my carpet in the basement he’s in big trouble, maybe I’ll think they are on to something. Otherwise, I think I’ll rely on a nice, all natural, old-fashioned wooden gate. (And maybe some heavy duty chemicals to break up the smell.)

And natural childbirth? I couldn’t have had a better time giving birth to my kids. As I would regularly explain to the anesthesiologist on the way to the hospital (seriously) “think of me as an epidural waiting to happen.”

Then there’s the fascination with organic foods. I just don’t get it. Some folks claim they taste better. Fine, you want to pay out the nose for that? Go have a party. The idea that “organic” Fruit Loops is better tasting and worth twice the price is just silly. Study after study shows organic foods are no healthier for us, and conventionally grown foods (meaning, yes, with trace pesticides and fertilizers) pose no added risk. In fact, friends, all kinds of “natural” foods are loaded with “cancer-causing” natural chemicals and pesticides. The poison is always in the dose. One famous study out of Berkeley showed that we ingest about 10,000 times more natural pesticides (by weight) than synthetic ones. Natural chemicals aren’t fundamentally different than man made.

So now what, report the organic carrots and broccoli to the FDA?

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that what’s going on here is a kind of, well, a religion. There really is a supernatural faith in this stuff. From recycling, to holistic medicine, to the pain of natural childbirth, to organic foods, “worshipping” at the shrine of the “natural” makes us feel at one with the creation.

Look, it’s great to be healthy, and to appreciate and care for nature (and yes even animals, including dogs who poop where they shouldn’t.) The problem is when we look to this stuff in a way that draws us to the creation, which is never really life sustaining, instead of the Creator who is.

And anyway, with four kids, I have no interest in Soysafe cleaning products. That stuff is so ineffective. I make no apologies for the fact that I need, and am happy to use, my nice healthy industrial strength Clorox.
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Betsy Hart is the author of “It Takes a Parent: How the Culture of Pushover Parenting is Hurting our Kids and What to do About It” (Putnam Books, 2005.)

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