As everything she writes is all about her, this is the way “Sun-Times” religion [sic] columnist Cathleen Falsani, a Wheaton college grad no less, started her story. “On Sunday morning, I was enjoying a brisk walk along the Hudson River in lower Manhattan and some quiet contemplation…”
THINKING OF REINHOLD NIEBUHR OBVIOUSLY.
“…when my cell phone rang. It was my editor.”
THAT WOULD BE THAT MATCHLESS BRIT ARBITER OF GOOD TASTE WHO PICKS GIRLY SHOTS FOR EVERY FRONT PAGE, MICHAEL COOKE.
“`Mike just called and he wants to talk but he’ll only talk to you’ he said.”
HOW TOUCHING. GREAT SPIRITUAL MINDS.
“Mike, as in the Rev. Michael Pfleger, the perpetually embattled pastor of St. Sabina Roman Catholic parish in Chicago who most recently has been under siege from comments he made about Hillary Clinton a week ago from the pulpit of Trinity United Church of Christ-aka Barack Obama’s former (as of Saturday) church.
YES…THAT MIKE, CATHLEEN.
“`Oh, really? Well, I don’t want to talk to him,’ I said. `I’m p——d at him…”
JUST LIKE YOUR BIG SISTER CAROL MARIN. HOW COULD MIKE DO THIS TO US FEMINIST LIBERAL PRO-ABORTS? JUST WHEN WE HAVE A CHANCE TO GET THE FIRST GUY WHO VOTED AGAINST THE BORN-ALIVE BILL THAT IS SUCH A THREAT TO OUR ABORTION RIGHTS!
“…How could he do this? He probably thinks I’m a sympathetic ear but I’m not. I pretty much want to slap him.’”
SUCH HIGH JOURNALISTIC RESTRAINT THESE FEMINISTS DISPLAY.
“`Just think about it,’ my editor said with a whiff of smugness…”
NOW THAT SHE MENTIONS IT, THERE IS AN UNDENIABLE WHIFF OF SOMETHING COMING FROM COOKE. SMUGNESS?
“…and call me back when you’ve changed your mind.”
DID SHE EVER!
So, moving right along, little Cathleen meets with Pfleger. Let’s skip through their teen banter particularly the cute stuff where he stumbles over Obama’s name because he has been forbidden to mention candidates in a partisan manner. Pfleger keeps stumbling and the scholarly Falsani makes a cogent literary allusion:
“`Jeez, it’s like he’s Voldemort in Harry Potter, the name we dare not speak’” Let’s skip all that.
How’s that for an intellectual?
Jump to the point where Pfleger interprets the Bible’s most dominant theme. Now remember, this is a Catholic priest, almost 60 years old, to a religion columnist for a major daily who has probed deeply the spiritual reflexes of the last Cubs manager.
What is the Bible’s most dominant theme? Here comes a learning moment.
Was the theme born with the Semites in Mespotamia about 2000 B.C. spread by word of mouth, passing through the Phoenicians and Hebrews who began using symbols with exclusive phonetic sound, moving through the alphabetic system spread from the Near East to Greece, from there to Rome and throughout the world but mainly in Europe and Africa-as far east as India? The thought that begun with Abraham arriving in Canaan in 1850 B.C., through the Exodus when Moses received the revelations on Sinai, the Torah (literally “The Law”), then to the 27 books of the New Testament? To the present day? The gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John? The epistles of Paul, Peter, James? .
NO, THE THEME IS WHITE RACISM, OF COURSE.
Stupid of me. Well do I remember reading that Abraham inveighed against white racism.
He tells Falsani once again to make it definite.
“The greatest sin against the Bible, about racism.”
Of course, she doesn’t correct him.
Obviously white racism, since there is no such thing as black racism.
OF COURSE! WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF IT BEFORE? WHITE RACISM CONDEMNED IN GENESIS, EXODUS,LEVITICUS, NUMBERS, DEUTERONOMY, JOSHUA, JUDGES, I & II SAMUEL, I & II KINGS, EZRA, NEHEMIAH, TOBIT JUDITH ESTHER, RUTH, PSALM…ALL THE WAY THROUGH TO MALACHI AND BARUCH!
White racism excoriated by Aaron, Abednego and Abithar,Abigail,Abihu, Abijah, Abimelech all the way through to Zippah, Zimri, Zipporah and Zophar!
It is the same vile evil that made Barack snitch on his white grandma. The lesson all of us will hear over and over again once he’s elected. That and Michelle telling us the only time she was ever proud of America was when voters supported her husband.
“This is a dangerous time in America,” says Pfleger, his eyes popping out like ping-pong balls, as effectively as they were in his sermon a week ago.
Falsani faithfully records his words as coming from a prophet. Unwashed, redneck middle America thinks he’s mad…not in the way Marin means, but mad as in demented.
But Falsani, not p——d off now keeps scribbling. It’s a message from a man of God.
“…the freest country in the world, where you have to whisper your thoughts.”
He’s won her back. She’s reconverted to Pflagerism.
One thing.
Anybody remember when this guy whispered anything?
Chiron613 says:
So, what I'm getting out of this is nothing of any substance, just the fact that Mr. Roeser doesn't like Cathleen Falsani. Duly noted. Can we move on to something substantive, now?
Kathleen says:
This woman is so in the tank for Father Pfleger. It is unfortunate that the Sun does not have someone on their staff who could write an objective piece. This woman has no idea, or maybe I should say respect, for the Catholic Church. Forget the fact that this man has none almost anything he can to flaut the authority that he vowed to obey.
hildy j says:
She’s reconverted to Pflagerism is a good smack but the rest of this is full of sneering hate. Does the fact that the SunTimes dropped Mr. Roeser's columns affect his views of the paper's current columnists?
Dan Kelley says:
It is almost embarrassing to read the bohemian Cathleen Falsani in the Chicago Sun Times. The fluffy accumulated lint that I remove from my dryer has more substance than most of the articles that this hippie chick submits for publication. Every time her column appears in print, I find myself thinking that somewhere there is a Starbuck's that is short one barista for its morning shift.