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Against All Odds

Fourteen-year-old Patrick was the man of the evening.

Patrick adjusted his tie, and strode confidently through an overflowing crowd at the Donald E. Stephens Convention Center in Rosemont, and climbed the stage.

As Patrick addressed the audience during a Q & A session last week, his Irish-red hair gleamed under the spotlight, while his image was shown on two large television screens.

The occasion was a fund-raising benefit for LYDIA Home Association, a Christian-based organization named after an early convert to Christianity. LYDIA provides services such as residential treatment for children and adolescents with behavioral problems, foster care, pre-school, and child abuse prevention programs.

In prepared remarks that were adapted for the Q&A session, Patrick tells his life story with sad memories of physical abuse at a very young age.

“Our neighbors called the cops and they came to my house and took me away from my mom. That made me feel sad and mad because I could not see my mom anymore, and it was just me and my brother and my sisters. Then we had to be separated, and it was just me and my brothers,” said Patrick.

By the time Patrick was 8-years-old, he had lived in 15 different foster homes. He was regularly shuffled through the system. In many instances after a short period in a new home, there would be a behavior outburst, and Patrick would be sent somewhere else.

Psychiatrists diagnosed Patrick with an alphabet soup of mental disorders including being bi-polar, ADHD, and OD. On many occasions Patrick would physically hurt himself and be placed in hospitals for psychiatric treatment and receive medications.

In 2002, Patrick was in a psychiatric unit of a Rockford hospital when he was introduced to Yolanda, a young African American single mom, who offered to bring Patrick into her home.

Yolanda works as a paralegal at a Chicago law firm, and her son Charles is two years older than Patrick

At first it wasn’t easy for Patrick making the adjustment to one more foster home. “Since I was living with Yolanda for the first time, I was scared so I was not being respectful to her. So I was put in Lydia Home to control my anger,” said Patrick.

But Yolanda had faith in God, faith in Patrick, and believed that by giving Patrick tough, patient love his heart would eventually open up. She was certain that Patrick could get past the pain, sadness and anger that filled his life.

Yolanda also had received training from LYDIA in working with kids having behavior problems. She had a better understanding than most people of the emotional turmoil Patrick was actually experiencing.

“I never gave up on him. It is important to teach kids values, beliefs, behavior, and to have relationships with other people,” said Yolanda in a calm, soothing manner. “Faith is a big part of my life.”

Yolanda held Patrick accountable for his actions. At the same time, she often praised Patrick for his successes. She regularly told Patrick how much she loves him.

Yolanda often reminded Patrick that in this country there are many opportunities to succeed: “Patrick, you can be everything you want to be in America,” said Yolanda.

With pride, Yolanda points to Patrick’s athleticism, “He is the best 3-point shooter in basketball that I know.”

Patrick credits Yolanda’s son Charles with teaching him how to read. In turn, Patrick convinced Charles, an acknowledged bookworm and computer nerd, that he should slim down and get more physically fit. Patrick helped Charles feel more at ease playing basketball and eventually to try out for his high school football team.

Over time the bonds between Yolanda, Patrick, and Charles grew to the point that they all wanted to be a family.

“I was adopted on March 13, 2007,” said Patrick in his prepared remarks. “When I went to the judge she had asked me how I felt about this family and I told her I loved them. She told me to go out and wait until she made her decision. Then, she told me to come back in by her and she said, yes, Yolanda will be your mom, and I was happy.”

Yolanda feels the same way about Patrick. “I adopted Patrick because he has a good heart and needed some love.”

As a multi-cultural family Yolanda says they continue to celebrate their diversity. We celebrate “St. Patrick’s Day. We acknowledge that he is Irish. He knows about Black history. He knows about Martin Luther King. Jr.”

Patrick has made some remarkable changes in his life. Yolanda’s immediate goal is for Patrick to do well in eighth grade and then in high school. Patrick has bigger plans. He says some day he would like to be either an FBI agent or a basketball player.

Patrick’s prepared remarks end with the same confidence he exhibited in walking to the stage.

“Now I am strong,” said Patrick. “And I do not take Lithium or Seroquel anymore. I do not attend Pace Behavior School, and I have been mainstreamed to a normal school district. Since then I have been doing good in my classes.”

“This is the story about my life. Thank you for listening. It has been an honor.”

Patrick, it has been an honor to be introduced to you.

Patrick and Charles are not the boys’ real names.

__________________________________

A lawyer, Paul Marcotte is a regular columnist for The Chicago Daily Observer.

Commentary:

1

suzy says:

WOw.. what a wonderful story.. tears flow from my eyes to read about such an amazing family and the obtacles they have overcome to be where they are at today.

December 18, 2007 at 6:32 a.m.
2

Ron Bartek says:

Wonderfully heartwarming, encouraging and inspiring story! It cuts to the core of basic human needs as well as the power of love and commitment. This story gives us all hope for ourselves and for those we love.
Thank you

December 18, 2007 at 1:53 p.m.
3

Steve Pokin says:

Thanks for the story. It goes against the grain of the typical tale of a white family adopting a troubled black youth. Well done. Life is not always easy and it will not always be easy for this family. I wish them the best.

December 19, 2007 at 9:59 p.m.
4

Erik Treese says:

WOW! This story punched me right in the gut. As a HS football coach on Chicago's west side I have several players like Patrick... perhaps even 8 or 9. Your article literally made me pause and think if I truly have a clue about what they are or have gone thru. I question if I have done all that I can to truly help their development.

Thanks for sharing.
Merry Christmas

December 20, 2007 at 9:30 a.m.

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