Chicago Imitates the Onion: Murder Spree Interrupted because of the Weather
The city of Chicago is steadily recovering from an overnight snowstorm that delayed hundreds of murders on Friday morning and will likely continue to push numerous homicides across the city drastically behind schedule, public authorities announced. “As we speak, maintenance crews are working diligently to restore public transportation, de-ice roads, and clear back alleyways so that Chicagoans can quickly resume murdering again,”
“We are encouraged by the February numbers, but we’re not taking our eye off the ball and will not rest until everyone in this city can feel the same measure of safety,” police Supt. Garry McCarthy said in a statement.
February’s drop in homicides followed a particularly bloody January when 43 people were killed. That was the highest total in January in more than a decade.